Okay, I know. I know it looks like I haven’t been writing…. but that’s just a lie. I’ve been writing. I’ve been writing quite a bit. I’ve just been… drafting.
I’ll be honest… the whole blogging world kind of intimidates me. You see a snippet of someone else’s filtered life and all of a sudden begin questioning your own. In today’s world it’s become increasingly more difficult to “be yourself.” With all the social media platforms and reality-that’s-not-real-at-all television comparison is killer.
And I buy into all of it!
True Life: I’m a stalker. It started with Facebook of course, and has since moved to Twitter, Instagram, and now blogs – Ah! There are people whose profiles I check regularly, most of whom I don’t even know. And sure, I’m entertained, often inspired, enlightened or motivated… but you know what else I feel? Inferior, insecure, jealous, self conscious, unsure, insignificant…
“I wish I had her hair, boyfriend, body, job, motivation, wit, friends, money, clothes, tan, social life…”
When did what I have no longer become good enough? When did I become this person who cared so much what other people think? I find myself muted or competing for posts and retweets without even realizing it! I started this blog for me. Because I wanted to tap into my creative side, to put thoughts and feelings into words, and commit to taking time to get to know myself and who I want to be. So this should be a safe space for me, right? It’s mine. So what am I so afraid of?
What if I’m not that interesting? What if I don’t have a good picture to go with my story? What if all I at made today was a PB&J? What if I have no jokes, or revelations, or funny stories from the weekend?
Then I remember why I started this. For me. Sure, I’m not perfect, but neither are any of the other bloggers or ‘grammers or tweeters I stalk from afar but they’re putting themselves out there! I write because it’s therapeutic, because I like expressing myself and making sense of my thoughts and feelings. And let’s be honest… I’m totally stalk worthy and can make a good candidate for your own personal life envy (kidding… kinda)! But really, there’s nothing to be afraid of. So here I vow…
- To be kind to myself and stop striving for perfection – nobody’s perfect. Period.
- To minimize comparison
- To write when inspired… or frustrated, or sad, or confused, of excited, or curious. To write raw and write for me.
See ya out there!